Do you accept yourself?
I would like to know, if you look beyond the eyes of society — your friends, family and people you randomly meet — can you honestly accept yourself for who you understand yourself to be? Your strengths, your weaknesses, what disappoints you and what makes you proud about yourself, can you live with these? Can you embrace these? Or, have you only ever sought your acceptance from others?
I don’t need those answers from you, but you do
Because your greatest harm lies in your ignorance of your own self. These questions are only there to help shine a light within and help you see what’s hidden in your everyday life. Once you know how to answer these questions, you may find yourself confused and surprised, but you will also learn what you need to do to improve yourself, you will see what needs to change in your life.
But more importantly, you will understand whether you unknowingly seek your acceptance from others
Sometimes we unknowingly find ourselves seeking our solace in others. We all want to be accepted for who we are, we want to know that it’s okay to be ourselves and make our choices. So, we impose ourselves onto others, directly or indirectly, with the hope that they may give us the answer we need to satisfy our worries and doubts, the ones that tame us. But the truth is, this won’t always work out.
Because these are forces that are not ours to control
People’s opinions are not up to you, and as much as you may try to change them, their opinions are their choice. Your power lies only in how you influence their decision, your power lies only in who you choose to be. Don’t fool yourself thinking others will accept you if you impress them — they may or they may not, but leave this to them. Accept yourself, embrace yourself and hold a better opinion of yourself because all you can control is your influence over others.
“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” — Peace Pilgrim
Here is what I wish for you to keep with you,
Accept Yourself First
Nathaniel Branden once said that the first step toward change is awareness and I feel he is very much right because the greatest thing to hold us back from improving ourselves is the fact that we do not see our own flaws, we do not see where we lack. So, take a moment to observe yourself and see where you seek your acceptance from, for this will show you where you need to improve.
He also went further to say that the next step is acceptance
If much of your past is filled with you unknowingly seeking your acceptance from others, it will do you good to find peace with this because you cannot change this. But you can change where you seek your acceptance going forward. Don’t look for it in those who are more accomplished, or those you respect, but rather in yourself. Accept all of yourself and your life will change for the better.
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” ― Lao Tzu
Control What You Can
If your past is often a great source of anxiety, you are not alone. We all have regrets, we all have things we wish we could change, but the tough truth is that we can’t. If history has taught us anything, it’s that the past is only there to show us how to be better going forward. And we can be better because there are opportunities to be so passing us by every day.
So, you should invest more of yourself in trying to control what you can control
You may not be able to change the things you have done, but you can change the things that you do going forward. No longer ask others to accept you indirectly by trying to impress them with what you can do and can be for them, these acts are hollow and lack depth. Look for your acceptance in yourself. Ask yourself what it means to be you and be it, embrace it,and waste no more time trying to control what you cannot.
“If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self.” ― Napoleon Hill
Because Life Is Much Better When You Are Your Own Friend
When I read through the works of Lucius Annaeus Seneca, he emphasized in a letter, the meaning and importance of true friendship. I may not do justice to the depth of his explanation, but he says that a true friend is one you can comfortably hold no secrets from, one who you can always trust to be present without expecting this of them. A true friend will always hold your greatest trust.
But I believe, such friendship should first be found in yourself
To know what it means to trust yourself, to love yourself is one of the greatest pleasures of life. Knowing how to be faithful to yourself is so powerful that it begins to flow out onto the lives of others. When you learn how to be a great friend to yourself, to accept yourself for your quirks and talents, your life becomes much better because everything you do becomes an act of true friendship.
“When someone is properly grounded in life, they shouldn’t have to look outside themselves for approval.” — Epictetus
To accept yourself in a world where it is so convincing to be another is an act of courage. To forgo the applause and cheers of the crowd, to let go of fame and popularity and to look rather to your own nature for guidance as to who you should be is the beginnings of something magnificent, something uncommon — a relationship with yourself.
And a powerful relationship is not built on splendor and beauty alone
It forges its strength with good and bad, light and dark, normal and abnormal. It asks for you to embrace everything that makes you who you are and represent it every day. At times, you may alone in this world, but this is not true, for you will always have your greatest friend to share your life with you, you will always have yourself to take every step with you.
“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Invest In Your Existence, Kind Reader.