Hey Instincts, I Finally Understand You
I strongly feel that I may share this thinking trait with many people. You see, when I interact with something for the first time, it appeals to some part of me and triggers an instant reaction from me — like responding to negativity with negativity. For many years, I believed this to be normal because I grew up in this kind of environment.
But I couldn’t ignore the lack of self-control I felt, which made me feel powerless to my feelings. To have a grip over these feelings, I needed to understand them. After going through some research, I learned that my need to react, my impulsiveness, is triggered by my instincts. And also, these very instincts live in each person.
They don’t always get me into negative situations. They also help me crack a joke at the right time and know when there’s a fire burning somewhere. But I don’t enjoy feeling powerless around them. It doesn’t feel good to respond to an insult with an insult or to unkind people with unkindness.
An eye for an eye does make the whole world blind — Mahatma Gandhi.
So to master them, I had to look deeper. It wasn’t long before I learned that it was possible for me to have some power over these instincts, but I had to take responsibility for them.
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor Frankl
It feels impossible to control these feelings when I am overwhelmed and convinced to take some action. But I always notice that there is a small moment where I have a choice, where I have some power. And when I choose to hold back from responding to unkindness with unkindness, I find a tiny bit of self-respect.
I committed to practicing this with every opportunity that came my way. Soon, I developed a mental filter of some sort, an Intellect as Osho would call it. This filter helped me know better than to be impulsive. It helped me take a deep breath and tell the difference between negatively reacting to an insult and running to prevent a kitchen fire.
It became a means through which I took responsibility for myself in this world.
This Intellect does not rid me of my Instincts, it saves me from them. I no longer am at their mercy. Before I respond to anything, my Intellect reminds me that I know better. It grounds me. It allows me to endure suffering in a noble manner, to speak kindly to those who are unkind, and to fight against mediocre thoughts keeping me in comfort.
I used to run away from these moments, thinking that isolation would bring me peace. But this war, this daily battle is unavoidable. So it was only necessary for me to understand and tame these instincts. This is the only way I knew how to live whilst respecting myself.
I may not know what makes you impulsive, but I do know that this is a battle we all face. It may never end, but we can find ways to let these instincts to serve us. So, to take better care of yourself in this world, keep these in mind:
Acknowledge Your Instincts
Your instincts keep you alive. They get you to eat food when you’re hungry or put on a jersey when you feel cold. These instincts will never leave you, but you must have some power over them. You must master them so that you are not a slave to them so that you don’t respond to an insult with an insult or to frustration with frustration. Acknowledge them. Accept that they will want you to take action. But you have the power to choose what action to take.
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
― Marcus Aurelius
Fight Until Your Intellect Is In-Sync With Your Instincts
This sounds a bit contradictory, but over time it is possible to get your Instincts to act alongside your Intellect. But to develop anything in yourself takes time and effort. Earl Nightingale once said that the mind is like a fertile piece of land given to you. It will grow anything you sow and consistently nourish.
Your instincts have been growing with the reactions you have been choosing all your life. You could improve your reactions if you wanted to. It’s as simple as developing a mental filter to stop you from making the same mistakes. The further you grow, the more respect you will find for yourself.
“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.” — Earl Nightingale
I think this to be a worthy mention:
There Is A Difference Between Instinct And Intuition
They both get you to want to act immediately, but your Intuition is a bit more subtle. It isn’t loud and impulsive, it’s soft and patient. It is a righteous feeling that’s like a tiny voice echoing from the depths of your roots, telling you everything you need to know.
It may go against everything that you know when you hear it for the first time, but it grounds you and shows you the way forward. To help explain it with an example: it is the subtle difference between lying to save yourself from danger and telling the truth to improve the lot of others, even if it may end up killing you.
“I feel there are two people inside me — me and my intuition. If I go against her, she’ll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely.” — Kim Basinger
Your instincts may save you from danger and help you stay alive. But they can negatively impact how you live by overwhelming you with feelings. Misunderstanding these feelings forces them to follow Regret until they grow an army strong enough to break through whatever mental barrier you may have.
If you wish to make peace with your feelings of Regret, you have to learn from them, so that you can understand them. Once you understand them, you will see that no matter what you face, all of the feelings are the same. And they can help you find Respect, but you have to be willing to lead them each time they forget their way…
“Empty your mind.
Be formless, shapeless, like water.
You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup.
You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle.
You put it into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Now water can flow or it can crash.
Be water, my friend.” - Bruce Lee
Invest In Your Existence, Kind Reader.
