What If Worrying Was Good?
Have you ever worried about anything in your life? Did you find yourself freaking out at the number of different scenarios that may exist and adversely affect you? Now, ask yourself, how many of these situations actually happened? Don’t get me wrong, sometimes we face a situation so often that we know exactly what to expect. However, regardless of what we do know, most of us get to that point where something comes along and immediately triggers all of our worries and sets forth a tornado of thoughts that sucks us in so deep that we feel our minds about to implode. Out of nowhere, reality comes along and ends up slapping us across the face with the certainty that only exists as it does and when it does. Most of the time, we try to face reality before it actually occurs. Now, this is not always a bad thing, but it is also not always a good thing. Feeling the aftermath of an exhausted mind being healed by reality, most of us choose to find comfort in experiencing what is tangible, that which actually exists, and thus we let go of the amount of distresses we suffered willingly. So why does the worry that we feel, actually matter? I have a feeling that you already know, but nevertheless let us embark on another journey, kind reader! Enjoy!
As you read this, I wish for you to take a moment to think about a specific moment in which you had to face something in your life, it could be anything that immediately took you out of your zone of comfort. Maybe it was the day of your driver’s license test or the day of your wedding, perhaps. Think about the proverbial ‘cold-feet’ you felt and the worries that built up from not knowing what to expect. Now, it is expected for us to worry whenever we face something that is out of the norm. Would I be wrong to say that getting out of the comfort zone will force most of us to see things that are unfamiliar and may make us a bit uncomfortable? It seems that most of us shy away from this because feeling uncomfortable is not really something that any of us look forward to. So when we are about to face something, we think about it so often that we convince our minds that we are facing it. Reality tends to fade out as the thoughts of that which could exist replaces that which your eyes see and your ears hear. We sometimes unknowingly create these hypothetical situations, going deeper and deeper into a specific subject — which induces more and more worry to such an extent that we no longer are present in the present. We use the information that we currently have to draw probable conclusions about that which we are going to face. The thing is that we tend to only live on the side of probability that worries us the most, forgetting that if something has a 40% chance of existing, it also has a 60% chance of not existing.
“Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.”
— Dale Carnegie
We all feel this at some time during the day, each day. From the time we get up till the time our heads hit the pillow, our mind is constantly conjuring up thoughts, solving problems and finding ways for us to get things done. There is a higher level of comfort in doing things that are familiar, but you have to admit that there are rare moments where we face something that we have never faced before. This usually leads us to have no idea about what goes on with ourselves whenever we do face these unknown situations, all we do know is that we do not like it. We do not like the fact that we worry — some of us don’t worry at all, some of us do and some of us worry so often that we don’t even realize that we’re doing it, it becomes second nature like walking or breathing. It’s okay, this is not a feeling that you can get rid of (trust me, I have tried). It may be there for the rest of your life, but what you can do is look at it from another perspective: Worry is nothing more than a fleeting sensation. One that grows indefinitely until we can convince ourselves that we no longer need to think about it. Looking at it now, it does have a somewhat negative meaning to most of us and it probably still does, but what if we could control how much of it we actually felt? I mean whenever you do worry, you tend to go about your days getting things done, and feeling exhausted afterward, more mentally than physically. So what if you could save yourself from overusing this feeling and use just enough to get you to take action in your life?
A simple example would be related to my early years of university — I would definitely worry much more than necessary about any assignment, test or exam that was about to come my way. I would prepare as much as I could from the time I had woken until the time I hit the bed. No matter how much I would calm myself down, I would always have this subtle worry that would do much more damage than necessary. This worry would lead to more worry, which led to more worry and so on until I could no longer be ‘normal’ with people. I would do all of this to myself and when I finally faced the exam, it was not always as worrisome as I had thought. After some time, I started to notice that I would put myself through tremendous amounts of worry, just to forget about it once I had experienced the specific situation. Eventually, like a kid who finally stood up to his bully no longer worried about getting beaten up, I stood up to these thoughts and realized that I could no longer allow this war to exist in my mind. This made me feel like I could no longer recognize myself, which made it much more difficult for me to be real with people. I tried ignoring this feeling, but that just made me see myself as someone that I was not. I could not follow this path towards my version of success by working against myself. That is when I had accepted that no matter what I face, I will worry.
This seems to be something that is out of our control and for most of my life I was subconsciously satisfied with this. After some time, I realized that I had some control over how much I chose to worry. Would I worry myself up until that point of getting the work done and facing the situation in a subtle apprehensive mind or do I just worry enough to get me to get the work done? No matter how impossible it seemed, the choice was always mine, because whether I worried or not, I will face that which will come. I could choose to not worry and let things be, but this would not serve me well. I could worry myself to lose my appetite and my sleep, which also would not serve me well. I could just worry enough to get me to get work done (my current favorite). Worry too much and you may soon become one who is worried…
Think about the difference between getting out of bed on any working day versus getting out of bed on a day where you are not working. You probably would get out of bed earlier on a working day so that you are not late, right? I know that the common saying is, ‘you shouldn’t worry’, but I found this to be quite uncertain at times because to some extent you will always worry. What I do prefer is to not worry much more than you need to. Investing your mental stamina in torturing yourself will never do you any good. How much is enough? I cannot tell you this, but I have a very strong feeling that you may already know this answer. I became grateful for the fact that I worried because it pushed me to get things done. I have to be honest though, this is a tricky one because it is quite easy to get caught up in your thoughts and drown yourself in them. So that is when I planted the seed which eventually grew into the epiphany that helped me see that whether I worry or not, I will face a specific situation when the time is right. The worry will always come along and overwhelm me into an anxious state of mind, but I would then remind myself that this feeling is here to serve me so that I worry just enough to get me to get my work done. So, I still do feel this feeling, probably more than ever, but now just from a different perspective.
“Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”
— Arthur Somers Roche
You see this was quite impactful for me. Worry is nothing more than a feeling that serves you to become something more. Worry initially was a feeling that I felt a bit too often, which kind of made me a victim to it. But when I started to use this worry to get me to take action to accomplish my daily tasks, I was becoming a bit more productive and I started to respect myself just a little more. I was worried (and still am worried) about how I was going to change the world when I first said it to myself. It would bug me, even more, when I used to say it to myself on each day. But this same worry helped pushed me to reflect on my days and focus on myself so that I could slowly grow into someone who was worth having an impact on the world and generations to come. So you could definitely change your perspective of this feeling and allow it to serve you instead of being a slave to it. The best part is that as you do so, you unknowingly inspire others to do the same.
So worry just enough every day to get you to accomplish the goals. Be ready to be overwhelmed at times, but also trust yourself enough to take a metaphorical step back and no longer drown yourself in things that do not exist. Accept the fact that whether or not you worry, you will face something. So it is up to you, to use this worry or let it consume you. I have a very strong feeling that you know which is best for you. So invest in your existence kind reader — try seeing life from a different perspective and you may inspire others to do the same with you!
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