The Seemingly Never Ending Process
Have you ever had anything you strived towards finally accomplished? Maybe you wanted to join the gym or get extremely rich. Did you wish that you would wake up some random morning and just have these goals accomplished? Honestly, how did that go? It never is an easy task to become something or do something straightaway, right? It takes time, effort and perseverance to get yourself to do what you need to do. I mean saying you want to do something or be somebody, is easy. But then come the feelings. You feel the belief and doubt. The lazy moments and those productive moments. There are moments when your endorphins are released and become so fired up that you feel that you can take on the world, and there are also moments where you feel this indescribable weight exhausting each of your muscles. No matter what you felt, whenever you did feel it, you still are where you are today. You are still breathing and your heart is still beating. You may never realize it but you always are exactly where you need to be. So why is it that we’re still not as accomplished as we want to be? Let us see if we can answer all of these — so enjoy, kind reader!
This is going to be a relatively tough one to explain because I never really knew what this meant until I somewhat experienced it myself. You always hear stories of these successful people who were pursuing their goals with each moment of each day and you would think that this is what it takes to be successful. No distractions, just them and their daily grind. This vague understanding made me feel as if I was doing something wrong with my life whenever I had distractions of any kind coming my way. Having good days made me feel on top of the world and as if I was making good progress. But I honestly would dislike myself for having those bad days because it made me feel as if I could not be successful if I did have them. This was a somewhat subtle torture that grew with each occurrence and this was not something I wished on myself any longer. Correct me if I may be wrong, but those feelings that you feel so much, they can’t all be good, right? There are feelings of joy and feelings of despair. For every moment that you feel motivated, there are moments where you feel demotivated too. Am I wrong? Whenever you pursue anything, a good job, fitness goal or learn a new language, are you always feeling amazing and enthusiastic about it? Do you also hear that voice that gives you the believable reason that you need to go no further? Where could I be going with this? Just bear with me and you shall soon see.
‘You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will’ — Stephen King
When it comes to me writing any piece, Ernest Hemmingway sums it up perfectly, “The first draft of anything is shit”. I never sat down and wrote each word that you read without having multiple proofreadings and making many changes. It is a bumpy process that is filled with euphoria, belief, frustration and a whole lot of doubt. All of this works together to help each piece transition from something that Hemmingway describes as “shit” to something that can be considered to be a little less “shit”. I say this because I never am satisfied whenever I release a piece because I always feel that it can be better. It takes time and a whole lot of mistakes to create something extraordinary. There are moments when I just flow and everything just pours out of my mind and there are also moments where I am disheartened and I don’t even feel like looking at my work. We all feel it, but we know how to work with ourselves so that we can push through like Leonardo Da Vinci, Bruce Lee and all the other greats who eventually made it. You probably go about your days in the same way. From the time you get up till the time you go to bed, you have a way of working with yourself to get through each day. You may feel tired and demotivated at times and there are times when you feel full of life and motivated, but it is all of these moments working together that makes our days what they are. Each day that we face or each goal that we pursue takes time and effort and hardly ever is done in an instant, right?
A little of a back story as to how I came to this realization may seem appropriate so here goes!
I never knew the type of person that I wanted to be. I always had asked myself what I wished to be remembered for and initially, I struggled with this. The degree or the job was never something that I felt was a genuine endpoint for me. This was not all that I wanted to be, but rather this was just a stepping stone to prove to myself how simple it was to be a working-class human being. Don’t get me wrong, there was a time when this was all that I thought I would do and I did end up doing this for some time. But I could not help feeling as if something was missing. Some longing inside of me always pushed me to want to be something more. It was as if I had this feeling that subtly questioned each thing that I did to further someone else’s goal. I never really listened to the voice before but after some time I realized that it was always there, speaking to me in a manner that was so confident and peaceful. It seemed as though this voice was subtly trying to make me aware of my capabilities. It always gave me the most reasonable answers, regardless of how much more enticing the other voices were. It was telling me who I was. It helped me realize that I wanted to be something more whilst inspiring others to become something more. To help people quit believing that lie that says ‘everything in life will materialize only if you surrender to fate or to some external force that will someday come along and snatch you out your present circumstances and skyrocket you into the future to where you see yourself being.’
To become all of this was something that would probably impress anyone as it did me. My initial problem, however, was that I thought I could do everything overnight. I would get up each day trying to become something more by reading books, listening to podcasts and motivational videos. Every day I was waking up, frustrated at the fact that I was not where I saw myself. Frustrated at the fact that I was not already at the peak of the mountain. This may seem like a good feeling at times because it pushes you every day to be better than you were a day ago. That is somewhat true because it makes you follow a discipline so dogmatically that it becomes your religion. The issue that I discovered here was that whilst I was trying to become something more, I was not being someone that I respected. I was trying so hard to become the person that I would be 5 years from now that I did not realize that each moment that I experience now will make me the person that I become 5 years from now. I would be so frustrated at myself that I would emotionally destroy myself each day, never acknowledging the damage that I was doing. Pushing away the people that were closest to me with my only reason being that they should understand what I was trying to accomplish. What was this nonsensical malarkey? I was trying to have an impact on people’s lives by inspiring them to become more, but all I was doing was expecting them to tolerate me by understanding my pursuit and sufferings? I was working so hard to someday have an impact on the world that I did not realize that each day I was choosing to act in a way that was making an impact on the world. That is when I realized that I cannot get to where I see myself by not working with myself and trusting the process that will get me there. The only person that is going to get me to where I see myself is me, and I can no longer work against myself. Those little moments are the adventure that will get me as far as I can see and now it is up to me to enjoy the journey!
If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.”
― Anatole France
Inspiring others does not mean coming to a single point whereby you encourage or motivate someone to change the world, no it is an everyday choice to impact the lives of others. It means to act in a manner that will improve the lives of others regardless of the feelings that you may feel. It’s choosing to be something better with each moment that you have and that’s the process. It is not a sprint to a finish line with you relaxing at the end. No, it is you taking a step each day so that you do not tire yourself out to such an extent that you become another statistic. It is a process that never ends. A process that is filled with great and terrible moments. The process does not mean that you push yourself all hours of the day. No, the process refers to the fact that you feel demotivated at times, but still push through. It’s you taking time to sustain yourself so that you can push through. It’s you taking a break at times to balance yourself so that you can push through. It hardly ever is someone going at it every moment of every day. That is the process. Working with yourself towards your particular goal with everything that you do. Taking a moment to answer questions so that you can respect yourself at the end of the day. It’s enjoying every moment and every distraction because each of those makes up the process. We are not worker bees who were born to work until we die from exhaustion. No to be able to still be here years from now chasing something, we have to trust the process. It may not start out being all good, but eventually, it may become something that you are remembered for.
Haven’t we all looked at someone’s version of success and imagined us being there? Trust yourself enough to trust the process of you becoming someone that you admire. The process is the journey. The journey is you taking a step today. It means you choosing to be someone kind when you feel terrible. It’s you being considerate to another when they are not so to you. It is you realizing that each moment is but a stroke of your paintbrush — all you just have to do is put your vision onto the canvas that is your legacy. Remember that we all have low moments just as much as we have high ones, but it is what we choose to do in those moments that make us who we are and most importantly who we become. Be strong, kind reader. Invest in your existence and inspire others to do so as well!
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